Konayuki – Remioromen

 

KONAYUKI
REMIOROMEN

Konayuki mau kisetsu wa itsumo sure chigai
Hitogomi ni magirete mo onaji sora miteru no ni
Kaze ni fukarete nita you ni kogoeru no ni

Boku wa kimi no subete nado shitte wa inai darou
Soredemo ichi oku nin kara kimi wo mitsuketa yo
Konkyo wa naikedo honki de omotterunda

Sasaina ii aimo nakute
Onaji jikan wo ikite nado ike nai
Sunao ni nare nai nara
Yorokobi mo kanashimi mo munashii dake

Konayuki nee kokoro made shiroku somerareta nara
Futari no kodoku wo wake au koto ga dekita no kai

Boku wa kimi no kokoro ni mimi wo oshi atete
Sono koe no suru hou he sutto fukaku made
Orite yukitai soko de mou ichi do aou

Wakari aitai nante
Uwabe wo nadete itano wa boku no hou
Kimi no kajikanda te mo nigirishimeru
Koto dakede tsunagatteta no ni

Konayuki nee eien wo mae ni amari ni moroku
Zara tsuku ASUFARUTO no ue shimi ni natte yuku yo

Konayuki nee toki ni tayori naku kokoro wa yureru
Soredemo boku wa kimi no koto mamori tsuduketai

Konayuki nee kokoro made shiroku somerareta nara
Futari no kodoku wo tsutsunde sora ni kaesu kara
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Sangatsu Kokonoka – Remioromen

 

SANGATSU KOKONOKA
REMIOROMEN
ETHER (2005)

Nagareru kisetsu no mannaka de
Futo hi no nagasa wo kanji masu
Sewashiku sugiru hibi no naka ni
Watashi to anata de yume wo egaku

San gatsu no kaze ni omoi wo nosete
Sakura no tsubomi wa haru he to tsuduki masu

Afuredasu hikari no tsubu ga
Sukoshizutsu asa wo atatame masu
Ookinaa kubi wo shita ato ni
Sukoshi tereteru anata no yoko de

Arata na sekai no iriguchi ni tachi
Kiduita koto wa hitori ja naitte koto

*Hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
Mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
Dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
Anata ni totte watashi mo sou de aritai

Suna bokori hakobu tsumuji kaze
Sentaku mono ni karamari masu ga
Hirumae no sora no shiroi tsuki wa
Nan daka kirei de mitore mashita

Umaku wa ikanu koto mo arukeredo
Ten wo aogeba sore sae chiisa kute

Aoi sora wa rinto sunde
Hisu ji kumo wa shizuka ni yureru
Hanasaku wo matsu yorokobi wo
Waka chiaeru no de areba sore wa shiawase

Kono saki mo tonari de sotto hohoen de

Repeat *
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3rd chapter – 22th part

The understanding of a handicapped.

A May’s sunny day let us feeling so eased. Today there is a small sport event and it happens to be on Mother’s day. And something that I cannot forget, which is Sister’s birthday. It is really a wonderful day.

I called my cousin at Nagoya, hope she can come over and visit me. Because I want her to know how hard working I am to survive. Huimei and me are childhood buddies; we always share the same bed. During the summer and winter holidays, we would go to each other’s house for vacation.

She wore a white shirt, a dress, clipping a gold hair clip on her curly hair and wearing red heel shoes. With her long eyelashes and big eyes and beautiful features, it’s difficult to imagine her only a high school third year student. She’s always mistaken as a men’s cousin. Ah Xiang came and visit me too.

The corner of the sports hall grew a bunch of fortune grasses. We sat together and started to search for a 4-clover leaf. We hoped we could give our mum good fortune. “Is 4-clover leaf very fortunate?” Huimei asked. So I tell her how I feel from the bottom of my heart. “4-clover leaf is the transformation of a 3-clover leaf, it is said rare change things give luck to us… “ Huimei understood deeply and replied, “Is it because it is rare?” Yar, it’s because it is rare then it will me people feel fortunate. Once you find it, you will feel great and joyful, and then the fortunate feeling will flow through you.

Today I fall again and hurt myself, and I cried again. I should be stronger. It could be due to the morning my actions are too rushed or my feelings too rushing. I tell myself to bring my leg forward but in the end it didn’t follow my commands. Thus, my body fell, I wanted to bring out my hand and blocked, but I can’t and bang….

While on the way to the medical room through a stretcher, I saw the sky. I think to myself, it’s been a long time I lie down and looked up at the sky. Lying at the medical room, I could also saw the sky through the window. The white clouds pass through the big blue sky, it’s really difficult to describe the beautiful scenario. Yar! When one day I a finally completely bed-ridden, I can lie at the bed and watch the sky. A singer once sang a song, which the lyrics were “Keep moving forward! Even though tears are falling out….” Yes! Its that feeling. I fell asleep for an hour, and woke up refresh and went to the toilet. (Western Toilet) I sat at the toilet bowl thinking the answer and finally concluded. I am getting slower than usual.

Yesterday was my turn to go to the library for my duties, I spent 20 minutes walking along the second floor walkway, but when I reached there was no one, I’m really too slow. I was depressed, borrowed a book. If I exceeded the time where the school gate close, I can just call the hostel and school, but still I cant help but cry again.

Just only around 4pm, the librarian scolded me,” Go back quick! If you want to borrow books, you have to come earlier.” I was so angry! What a cold-blooded person. My movements are 1 time slower than a normal person. It’s impossible to plan ahead of my time no matter how hard I try. And I spend too much time on daily routines like washing clothes. This stuffs are not using just time that I can solve the problem.

Today’s destination is the zoo. I’m so tired of going to places like the zoo. The boring faces of a orang utan, black monkeys that throw stones, penguins that doesn’t catch fish, and etc.

I really hate the daily duties of the hostel, but for the sake of adapting to the group environment, this is something I can’t avoid. I always so slow, no matter how hard I try I’m always slower than the others. During the announcement, the duties are only half done, during the end of the fitness lesson, the in charge told me, “Aya, You didn’t clean up your room. Go to toilet and clean up the rubbish and towels.”

“Please forgive me, I will endure all the pain and challenge…” God, please tell me. When will all this end? This always in the end makes me even weaker.
If my body can be more active, even if cleaning the toilets, I will be more than happy to clean it. But as I couldn’t control my movements well, I can only scold in my mind “I detest it!” But my mouth just couldn’t say it, and everyone just left.

Returning back to the room, I couldn’t help but burst out crying. The hostel auntie saw me and said, “ You can’t always cry in a group environment. “ But what exactly should I do instead?
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3rd chapter – 21th part

Bitter thoughts…

Teacher A and I were talking in the classroom, “I dreamt myself straightening my back, and finally I was able to walk again, and Teacher was very happy when you saw me.” Teacher said,” Thinking about it is ok, but during washing your own clothes or be the student on duty that moment, you will still feel tough right?”

She continued, ”There was a girl who suffer the same illness once wrote a poem “God made me disable, why do I still believe in god, is this testing my endurance?” Forcing the child to this end, I also felt helpless.”

I said, ”But teacher, actually I also thought of this too, why my body will suddenly fail on me, the reason could be sacrificing a lot of people’s convenience, giving them lots of trouble. Not only that, I also tried lots of reasons to comfort myself.”

Looking out of the window, I saw the beautiful rainbow and I hurried to my wheelchair and went out. Classmate T told me, “Wow. You’re so lucky to sit on the wheelchair.” I actually wanted to reply. “To me, walking is much more fortunate thing.” But not to spoil the beautiful rainbow scenario, I kept quiet.

Every Saturday, dad and mum and pick me up and stay at home for a night. Then Sunday night, I will return back to school. Every time seeing me with new bruises, Mum asked.” Do you fall often?” I answered, “Its due to rushing for time, because my movements are too slow, I have to ask the hostel auntie wake me up at 4am and study. Otherwise, I will never finish a day’s work… But sometimes I fall when I’m impatient and my movements are getting stiff, so I tend to fall down easily.”

All the while, I always wanted to maintain my walking ability, only when I am out then I will use the wheelchair. But some things are pretty urgent, for example the long journey to the library, because of the lack of time, I have to use the wheelchair. I take the wheelchair, my mind will always wander “Every time taking the wheelchair I would feel,” I could no longer walk anymore” That really makes me feel sad.

I met the hostel auntie at the passageway. ”Good morning.” ”Eh? You are taking the wheelchair, not bad maintaining a happy attitude.” Hearing those words, I felt my heart stuffy unable to breathe. I thought to myself.” What’s so happy about? I want to walk too. All because of unable to walk, makes me so troubled. I have no choice but to sit the wheelchair, do everyone thinks I enjoy sitting on the wheelchair?”

My mood was feeling really depressed that I don’t want to live up my head. My illness is getting worse… cause mum’s white hair seems to start appearing more and more…
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